Red Ribbon Returns
by Beth Cyra
Summary: Tamao stands by the one she loves and has given everything to her, and this is the story of what happens when she is not alone and gets help in stealing the heart of the one she loves. New chapters weekly.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Everyone!

It's been along time since this story saw the light of day, but I have had a few people reach out asking about this and Tamao's New Lover. Well I have recovered them and so I figured I would upload them exactly as they where when I pulled them down to see if there was any interest in reading them after all this time.

Thank you my friends and well I this is Red Ribbon Returned to .

Disclaimer: I do not Own Strawberry Panic characters or story.

This is a revised version of chapter 1 that was done completely out of the kindness of a fellow Nagisa X Tamao fan, ZIIIX, I can't thank you enough you made the story much easier to read and I am truly grateful.

 _ **I Refuse.**_

"Can you believe it? Tomorrow we will finally graduate," sighed Nagisa. It had been a hard last few months, securing both living arrangements with Shizuma and getting her finals completed was far too much for Nagisa to make it through alone. Luckily Shizuma was more than able to take care of finding a place big enough for both of them and finding Nagisa a part time job.

School on the other hand had been much more difficult, especially after her latest fallout with Tamao. This had been happening off and on ever since the Etoile Election a few years back, Nagisa had to admit that Tamao had been very kind and fair, but that didn't stop there friendship from being extremely strained. This latest fallout only proved to bring up old memories of the fight at from when they went their separate ways.

" _Why the hell are to treating me like this Tamao-chan?!" Nagisa shouted at her so-called best friend. Finally having too much of the girl brushing her off when she needed her, but Tamao walked right past her into the bathroom without so much a second glance._

 _She was fuming by this point. Sure she could understand she broke the other girls heart: it was not like she wanted to. Hell she even liked Tamao and felt comfortable around her enough to sleep in the same bed as her when she was still trying to come to terms with her having feelings for another girl. She still felt bad about how she ran out during the Etoile election, crushing Tamao's dream, but she couldn't lie to her heart, Tamao was Tamao her best friend and someone that would always be there for her but she just didn't love her._

 _Tamao had tried to support her just like she had always done, continuing to help her both in school and out, but anybody could tell that the two no longer shared a very close bond. At first Nagisa had been selfish and hoped that things wouldn't change, and that she could just ignore the fact Tamao had feelings for her and that she had broken her heart, but that was put to rest the very next morning. Tamao had woken early and left after getting ready, not saying anything or waiting for Nagisa._

 _Nagisa figured she just needed to give it time and their friendship would return. She was even more hopeful when she asked Tamao for help on some math and the poet had agreed to do so later on when they were getting some afternoon tea. Ten minutes into the study session a fifth year Miator that Nagisa didn't recognize, came up and whispered something into the blue haired girl's ear. At first Nagisa was annoyed that someone was interrupting both her school work and finally getting some time with her best friend._

 _It had finally hit Nagisa that Tamao was smiling, sure there was sadness in it, but it was a real smile, not only that but it dawned on her that Tamao had not smiled at her like that even once since her return to their shared dorm. Finally the girl left after speaking to Tamao about something heatedly but quietly as to not let Nagisa her them. Her home work long forgot, she inquired as to what the conversation was about only to have Tamao shake her head and tell her it was nothing important and that she needn't concern herself with it._

 _Nagisa felt more than ever that there was something wrong in that statement and that something really bad was going to happen, and she felt she needed to find out whatever it was before it could happen. The year progressed steadily with Nagisa's relationships finally seeming to take on some kind of rhythmic pattern. She shared as much time as she could with Shizuma and shared some caring moments before Shizuma graduated. Tamao on the other hand still balanced out, but Nagisa couldn't help the growing since of something bad. Shizuma had guessed that Tamao was trying to come up with some way to break them up and make Nagisa hers. At first she was extremely upset with Tamao, immediately believing that Shizuma was right, but by the time she caught up with girl ready to shout and slap her silly for being such a jealous bitch, she found her sleeping at her desk with a bunch of shredded paper laying next to her._

 _Nagisa slowly approached the young blue-haired girl, and almost felt her heart break; she had been so sure that Tamao was selfish and only cared about what she wanted. Tamao didn't love Nagisa, but she just wanted what would make her happy regardless of what Nagisa felt. Upon looking at her Nagisa knew she was wrong, and that she was the heartless bitch, she was so quick to place the blame on Tamao and try to alleviate her own guilt at the idea of being the source of the pain for the poet that she never stopped to think that since she had made her choice, Tamao had not tried a single thing with her._

 _She knelt and picked up the pieces of paper there were five or six pieces, she tried to put them together to see what was on them. Finally figuring it out she felt her mouth go dry. It was the poem about Tamao's Rainbow. Nagisa's own tears joined those of her best friend's on the paper. Nagisa, although a little slow sometimes, knew Tamao had loved her, but she did not think that it had been for that long or that poem she had shared with her so long ago was something about her. Slowly as she could the young red haired woman got up and left the room._

 _As she closed the door Nagisa slowly leaned back as to not make as much noise. She knew Tamao was hurting, probably worse than anything Nagisa had ever gone through with Shizuma or anyone else. There was nothing she could do about it, but she wished her friend wouldn't hurt so bad. The letter kept coming to her mind however: that and a since of finality. Nagisa didn't know what the feeling was, but she was sure that if she didn't find out what was happening and soon she would lose Tamao forever. But over the next few months she couldn't figure out what was going on, although she found Tamao meeting and several people of their grade or higher, she was barely aware of their names' most of the time, so there was no one she felt comfortable with trying to dig information out of. Finally having seen Tamao meet someone a week before the end of the year with a total look of resignation, Nagisa decided to go visit Yaya, Hikari and Tsubomi hoping to get information about what was going on._

 _She was not met with the reaction that she had expected. The moment Nagisa mentioned Tamao's name Hikari immediately made an excuse and left to see her fellow Etoile (Amane). Tsubomi decided it was time to use the restroom, leaving only Nagisa and a very uncomfortable looking Yaya sitting in the middle of her room._

 _After a good twenty minutes of silence followed by begging from Nagisa all of which Tsubomi had not come back, Yaya finally lost her mind and told Nagisa that she didn't know very much and what she did know Tamao made them promise not to talk to Nagisa about it. Not knowing what else to do Nagisa left going back to Shizuma's room, not bothering to tell Shizuma about the what was going on, she knew she couldn't help her and on top of that would probably find it rather funny about the blue-haired girl being depressed ever since Nagisa chose her._

 _On the second to last day of school, Nagisa decided to try and talk to Tamao about it on their last day. As far as Nagisa could guess, things were not going well with whatever it was Tamao was doing and she figured that no matter what was said that they could go on break and make up after their return to the dorms. Nagisa awoke early the final day only to find that Tamao had gone out again. Getting up quickly and dressing, Nagisa headed out the room and surprisingly found Tamao just sitting and relaxing in the middle of dining room. Nothing she found out made her feel any better: in fact it did just the opposite. From what she understood Tamao was trying to work out a deal with a few of her friends that would make things easier on her and hopefully make things more enjoyable for Nagisa as well._

 _Nagisa knew the problem was too far gone and the only thing she could do was ride it out and try to salvage whatever she could in the end. She may not be in love with Tamao but she loved her more than any of her other friends and she would just have to get through this until she Tamao came out of it._

 _The moment Nagisa arrived back she knew there was a problem, Tamao hardly said a thing. Not only that, but there were only a few of Tamao's things in their room, almost as though it was to keep appearances. On top of that, outside of interacting at school unless Nagisa came back in time to catch Tamao before and after her shower, she wouldn't get to spend any time alone with her Tamao. Within the first few days Tamao started to spend the nights at other people's rooms. After seeing this Nagisa knew that Tamao was not playing: she did not have a crush on Nagisa, but she was legitimately in love with her and seeing her and hearing about her and Shizuma was just too much for the young poet to take._

 _That was three months ago and with her relationship with Shizuma being strained because of the long distance relationship and no longer having her best friend to be there and love her, Nagisa couldn't handle it anymore, regardless of whether or not it was selfish she was going to make Tamao listen to her and get some damn answers._

" _I have had enough of your selfishness. All you are doing is thinking of yourself, and you have no right to treat me like this just because I love somebody else. I never made any promises to you and I certainly never led you on, now if you don't knock off your shit this friendship is over!" Nagisa practicably spit on the door as she shouted at it._

 _Finally Tamao came out and took a long hard look at the poor red head and almost with tears in her eyes she spoke. "Treating you like this? I'm being selfish? Never promised anything? Are you out of your mind?" Tamao was shaking and Nagisa knew that she pushed the young woman too far and started to back afraid Tamao would lash out at her._

 _Then as quickly as it had come Tamao's anger seemed to fade. "I know you are tired and having a difficult time being away from Shizuma, Nagisa, but you have to understand that I am doing this for the both of us. It still hurts thinking you are with her Nagisa. You don't know what that is like, and I don't blame you. I don't want you to know how that is, but I also don't want to hurt either. I am your friend and I try to be there for you when you need it, but every time we are alone it brings back memories Nagisa. How many times did she hurt you? I was there every time; I was there for the Etoile election. Nagisa you didn't run out on just the Etoile but you ran out on me. I love you Nagisa, I really do." Tamao stopped for a minute taking a breath as she didn't want to burden her friend any more then she already was._

" _I love you Nagisa, but I need to get over that love. You do not love me, you love Shizuma, and I need to get over you. I do not want this to continue; I need to move on with my life and find someone else. I am sorry if that hurts you, because I never want to hurt you. This was your decision Nagisa-chan and I need you to understand that. If you need me for anything that has to do with school or having a hard time I will be there for you. All I ask is that you take your relationship problems to someone else at least until I can move past this." Tamao took a deep breath as she finished feeling a lot better finally getting all that off her chest, but at the same time she felt her heart break over the devastated look on Nagisa's face._

" _Please..." Nagisa started but couldn't keep going as pouts and tears overwhelmed her. She just stared at Tamao who could do nothing but shake her head at the red head and then grabbed her book bag and walked towards the door but stopped in the middle of the room._

" _Please believe me Nagisa-chan, I never meant to hurt you. I always hoped that I could spare you what happened to me," Tamao spoke softly hoping that Nagisa would hear her without turning around to look at her best friend she lowered her head and started towards the door trying to hold in her own tears until she was at least out of the room. As soon as she felt her hand on the door handle she was stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around her._

" _Please Tamao-chan, please don't leave me. I need you Tamao. I know I don't love you the way you love me, but I do love you. I did even like you but I fell in love with Shizuma. I'm sorry I couldn't help that." Nagisa was crying her eyes out trying to talk her best friend into staying with her; there was even a moment when she thought she could feel Tamao's resolve weakening. "I know what ever I say won't make up for how much I hurt you Tamao, but please stay with me. Maybe if I had not met Shiz..." She never got to finish since Tamao cut her off._

" _Stop right now Nagisa-chan," Tamao practically shouted at the red head causing the girl to loosen her grip and almost let go of the taller girl. "I am sorry for yelling Nagisa-chan, but don't say that. There is no point, and I don't want false hope and even if there was ever any hope before it is gone now so speaking of it is pointless. I have to do this Nagisa-chan. do you want me to be miserable? Do you want me to stay in love with someone just to have them never love me back? I know it hurts Nagisa but if I don't leave then I will never be happy either," Tamao breathed out._

 _Tamao couldn't stop a few tears from sliding down her cheeks as she felt Nagisa shake her head almost as if she was trying to deny the current situation and keep her best friend there with her. Slowly as one of the hardest and most painful things she had ever done Tamao reached up and pulled Nagisa's hands away from her as she turned and looked in the grief-struck eyes of the red head._

" _I love you Nagisa," she said, purposely dropping the honorific. She reached up and wiped the tears away from her eyes and tried to give her the best smile she could. "It is not like I am leaving the school and I don't hate you from what you did OK? Hopefully in time I will become comfortable around you again but until then I need you to understand." She smiled one last time as she bent down and gave her love a kiss on the cheek and with that she turned away from her and left the room._

 _The past two years since then had been very interesting when looking at the big picture. She was graduating on time with her friends, her relationship with Shizuma had its ups and downs and would be perfect if she, as that old saying goes, didn't come back to bite her._

" _You don't realize what you have until you've lost it." Nagisa hated the fact that she ever heard that stupid adage since it's exactly how she felt after the first six months of her and Tamao's 'separation'. She knew it would be hard when Tamao had left. The first few weeks they hadn't really spoken. Every time she saw Tamao, she could hear the heart-filled confession and the pain that had filled her friend's voice. Knowing what kind of pain she had caused her Nagisa couldn't bring herself to try and talk to Tamao for awhile._

 _Thank God for Chiyo and Chikaru. They had both gone out of their way to help Nagisa as she adjusted to Shizuma being away at college and her best friend moving out their room. Then about a month and a half after the move she began try to rebuild what they had lost._

 _Since then Nagisa had grown to see Tamao for everything she was. Looking back on it now Nagisa couldn't help but look back on what had happened between the two. Now she still loved Shizuma but she was surprised going over everything that had happened in her first year at Miator. Everything: their first meeting, Tamao tying her protection charm to her arm, being there when Nagisa's heart broke over Shizuma, taking care of her throughout the Etolie election. There was something truly special about Tamao that when surrounded by fresh love for Shizuma, Nagisa had never taken the time to look for._

 _Over the last six to eight months, although different from how it use to be, their closeness seemed to have started growing again, with them spending time together both during lunch and after classes on the walk back to dorm, well when Tamao was dating someone new anyway._

 _That had been difficult for Nagisa to accept at first. Nagisa had invited Tamao to lunch that day and was told that she couldn't make it because she had a prior engagement. Not thinking too much of it, figuring it was probably something to do with poetry club, Nagisa decided to look for Chiyo and spend the break with her. She was shocked when she walked out of the front of the Miator front door and saw Tamao walking hand in hand with some fourth year student. Quickly shaking away the surprise she decided to follow the couple._

 _After watching the two have lunch she followed them back breathing out a sigh of relief as it seemed like they were only friends; maybe in the club together, up until it came time for the two to separate and their junior leaned up and gave Tamao a quick kiss on the cheek. Nagisa could do nothing but stand there dumbfounded, as she watched Tamao walk away holding her cheek where the girl had kissed her._

 _Tamao didn't ever really say anything about her relationships, but she didn't really need to. Nagisa could tell which girls the beautiful poet had dated since they did nothing to hide their dirty looks they sent her way. According to Chiyo they were all mad at her because Tamao always ended their flings by saying sorry and that she was just in love with someone else. Apparently Tamao was trying to move on by trying to find someone else, and although Nagisa hoped she would move on soon for Tamao's sake, and hoped she would find someone that would love her back, Nagisa couldn't help but feel a little relieved each time she got a new look._

–

"Hey Nagisa-san. You ready?" Tamao asked from outside her dorm room, they had promised to walk down to the ceremony for the graduates.

"Not quite my hair is still giving me some trouble," Nagisa replied still not liking the fact that Tamao had switched to a less intimate suffix for her name in an effort to distance herself from Nagisa.

"Here let me do that," spoke Tamao, knocking Nagisa out of her thoughts she had become absorbed in.

"No you don't have to it's no big deal," called out Nagisa, a little surprised that Tamao had offered to do something that she had done some many times in the past during her first year.

"Oh come on, for old time's sake. We won't be seeing each other for some time after today," said Tamao entering the room.

Nagisa felt her chest tighten at the poet's bluntness that they would no longer be together. Even though she had moved out Tamao was still here, and the idea of her being completely out of Nagisa's life, especially with how she had been seeing Tamao lately made it almost unbearable for the young woman.

"Give me the brush Nagisa-san," whispered Tamao from behind the red head, without a thought she handed the brush back to the bluenette, and stared at her in the mirror as she went to work on her hair.

"Tamao-chan will you please tell me where you are going to school?" Nagisa asked, she knew that the brilliant writer had applied to several schools and that she was smart enough to get into almost any of them that she desired, but poet had not been very forth coming on where she would be going, only saying that she would contact Nagisa and make sure everything was going well.

"Now Nagisa, you know we agreed not talk about that." Nagisa could do nothing but sigh and averted her eyes from the poet. She knew Tamao was doing this as much for her as for herself but a part of her didn't want this moment to end. The idea of not seeing Tamao and thinking of her off with a new girl was only barely less painful then idea of not being with Shizuma anymore.

As Tamao finished her hair she put the brush down and ran her fingers through her hair one last time to make sure it was in its proper place, pausing for a moment she took something out of her pocket that Nagisa couldn't see and tied it around her hair and walked to the door.

"Good luck," said Tamao as she opened the door. Nagisa couldn't turn to see her walk out of her life for the last time. "I just wanted to say it to you one last time, I love you Nagisa-chan," she called out in almost a whisper. Before Nagisa could turn around and speak to her, she was gone and the door closed.

Although she hated herself for it she couldn't help her heart flutter at the poet's words, until she realized that in a few short hours Suzumi Tamao would be gone. Sighing and trying to steady her resolve with the choices she made in the past she turned to look in the mirror. She noticed that Tamao had put her hair up the same way she had before the Etoile election. She started to turn away to head out with the others but stopped with when she noticed something red over her right shoulder. She felt her heart both soar and fall at the same time: it was Tamao's charm that she had pulled out of her hair when she pushed her to Shizuma, giving Nagisa the okay to leave her standing there and give up the coveted Etoile competition.

Nagisa couldn't help a few tears slide down her face. Tamao, even in the end showed Nagisa just how much she loved her. Knowing she couldn't just let her leave her life, especially in such a confused state, she quickly headed out of the room hoping to catch the girl before she made it down to gather group of graduates. Unfortunately she didn't make it.

After the ceremony Nagisa tried desperately to find the blue-haired poet before she could get away, but found neither hide nor hair of her. Finally after searching around she gave up and headed back to her room to pack up the rest of her things and get ready to head to Tokyo.

Opening the door she was surprised to see Chiyo sitting there waiting for her almost in tears. "Nagisa-onee-sama!" the young one screeched leaping into her arms.

"Hey hey, it's ok I thought we said no crying right?" Nagisa spoke softly trying to not think about Tamao, and comfort the young girl.

"I'm sorry, I am just going to miss you so much," said Chiyo trying to get herself under control.

"I know, but you have my contact info and you can call me anytime you want and I will be there for you anytime I can," Nagisa said giving the girl a warm smile.

"Yes, and we have to write all the time. I want to make sure you are having fun in Tokyo Onee-sama," chirped Chiyo. Nagisa could only smile at the cute younger girl. She had grown but she was still the cute girl Nagisa had met years ago.

"Would you like some help? I would love to help if I can," Chiyo asked hoping to do something nice for her one last time.

"No don't worry about it. I just want to relax in here alone for a little bit. This is the last time I will be in here after all," Nagisa replied with a sad smile.

"Okay, well I will miss you and don't forget to write," pouted Chiyo before giving Nagisa one last crushing hug before taking her leave.

"I won't," was all Nagisa could get out.

Chiyo stopped at the door turning to Nagisa looking like she was warring with something to say or not and finally spoke.

"Um. Tamao-onee-sama asked me to give you a message," Chiyo spoke out in a rather strained voice that was lost on a suddenly excited Nagisa.

"Really? What is it? I tried to find her; I really need to talk to her," Nagisa practically shouted having given up hope that she could get a hold of her best friend.

"Well," Chiyo began clearly not happy about it. Nagisa started to feel dread creep up in here at the look that Chiyo was giving her.

"She said to tell 'Nagisa I am sorry. I didn't mean to leave like this, but if I know you like I think I do, then you probably would have tried to do something you would regret later. I refuse to ruin the life you have set up and I don't want you to worry about me. Good luck and I will miss you,'" Chiyo barely got out before she sniffled trying not to break down. Nagisa just stood there in a state of shock.

"I am not sure what happened between you and Tamao-onee-sama, but I hope everything works out," she said quickly before running out of the room, leaving Nagisa alone in her room that she had shared with the poet that was now out of her life. She couldn't help but wonder if she had ever known or cared for anyone enough to know them quite as much as the poet had for her. Even with two years of separation and trying to not let it show the poet proved that she knew and loved her like no one else.

With that Nagisa broke down crying one last time until a knock came at a door letting her know it was time to head out.

Three hours later Nagisa finally arrived at an apartment complex less than twenty minutes away from Tokyo University. Knocking lightly she waited for a few seconds still with her mind on the blue-haired girl that was now gone. Then a loud voice knocked her out her thoughts and she noticed the door had been opened wide for her and a beautiful silver haired woman stood there looking her over.

"Nagisa, finally. I have been waiting forever: even ordered take out to make sure I was here when you showed up," said Shizuma gathering Nagisa into a huge hug.

"I'm sorry, been a long day and it slipped my mind that I should have called you on the way," responded Nagisa trying to get Tamao out of her head and returning the hug and giving Shizuma a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you ok? You don't seem like yourself sweetie," Shizuma asked, she couldn't say what but something seemed to be off about the young woman.

"Yeah, like I said long day haha," said Nagisa nervously as she lifted her hand to scratch the back of her head.

'What the hell' was the only thing that ran through Shizuma's head as she stood standing looking at Nagisa in shock. Just like all those years ago when she stripped it from her and secured a place in her heart, there was the symbol of the only person that ever threatened her relationship with Nagisa. On her wrist a Red Ribbon.

A/N

This is the Edited Version of Chapter One, as mentioned above, I once again want to thank ZIIX, who was kind enough to Edit the terrible first draft of this story as say some really kind things.

I know there is not much happening in this chapter, but I really felt it important to bring up several things, chief among them where the fact that Tamao truly loved Nagisa, sure she was a little strange and obsessive, but in the end left not to get Nagisa's attention, but to make it easier on both of them and try to spare Nagisa the pain of seeing Tamao being hurt by there Nagisa and Shizuma's relationship.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Shizuma's Confidence**

"How was your day?" Nagisa asked as Shizuma walked through the door.

"Ahh, fine, I guess. Had to deal with more assholes that just don't get the hint," Shizuma sighed as she leaned down to give Nagisa a kiss "You?"

"It was good, I got to work the front today instead of just doing more dishes and saw a few people from the classes I am taking and talked to them a bit."

"Really well that sounds good, by the way Nagisa." Shizuma hesitated for a moment; Nagisa had been here for a few weeks now and during that time she still had not removed the Red Ribbon from her arm. As far as Shizuma could tell, she only took it off during showers, and it made her extremely uncomfortable that her Nagisa had worn it during their love making.

"Yes?"

"I have tried to be nice and not pry, but don't you think it is about time you removed that?" asked Shizuma as she took Nagisa's hand in her own and started to move her hand towards the ribbon. She was shocked when Nagisa recoiled as though she had stung her.

"I don't see a problem with it. It's cute and it's not like I where it all the time," Nagisa declared franticly trying to cover the ribbon with her other hand.

"Nagisa, look. I am not going to lie: I don't want you to wear it. You are My Nagisa, and I know that ribbon was Tamao's and I don't like you wearing something you got from another woman while we are making love," spat Shizuma. She had tried to be patient but she was taking this too far. "Now unless you can give me a good reason, you are to take it off."

Nagisa was stuck, she knew there was nothing she could say that would be able to get Shizuma to understand; not that she blamed her. 'I mean what would you think if your girlfriend suddenly turned around and said "hey I think I may have feelings for the girl I shoved aside when I first chose you, and now she decided not to be a part of my life anymore and this is all I have from her."' Yeah, saying that probably wouldn't be the best idea.

"Umm, I don't know where she is going to school and I really miss her, so I wear it in hopes that she will be alright," stammered Nagisa, trying to get an excuse no matter how lame it was in hopes that Shizuma would not make her take it off.

"Nagisa, we have already gone through this. She will get a hold of you, and there is no need for such concern. Now take that off as you are my girlfriend and I will not have you walking around anymore with someone else's item of possession on you." Now Shizuma was getting angry. Shizuma hadn't been too concerned with the last few visits how much the red-haired girl had seemed to grow fond of the poet, figuring it would wear away once she graduated and moved in with Shizuma.

"Possession? What are you talking about?" asked Nagisa legitimately confused.

"Geez, Nagisa what do you think it is?" screamed Shizuma. "She was trying to link herself to you and keep herself in your mind when she tied that on your wrist, just like she did over summer break. She wants you for herself."

"Just stop Shizuma!" Now Nagisa was getting mad. She didn't like Shizuma talking badly or implying anything negative about the poet. "Tamao-chan didn't do anything, I had a friend tie it on me." Angered and wanting to defend her friend, she didn't think of what she was saying.

"WHAT?" Things where really not how Shizuma had expected. Why was she clutching to this thing so hard? There was something going on and she was not going to let it continue. "Nagisa tell me right now what is going on; what happened between you and that little bitch."

Nagisa's first reaction was a white hot torrent of fire erupting in her at the idea of someone talking so negatively about Tamao: even for Shizuma it was too much. Tamao had always done her best to be there for Nagisa, including letting her own heart be shattered by Nagisa multiple times; by moving out and giving the Nagisa the space they needed when she very well could have tried to take advantage of her.

"Stop right now!" Nagisa growled out in a low threatening voice, shocking Shizuma. She had never heard the red head so angry before. "First of all, never speak like that of Tamao again. She tried her best for both you and I. She has done nothing to deserve that kind of disrespect." 'No,' Nagisa thought. 'She didn't deserve it. The real people that did were Shizuma and me.' "It doesn't matter if I wear this Ribbon Shizuma, I chose you. Remember, I broke Tamao's heart not once but multiple times so don't bring up Tamao as though she did something wrong. We both you and I always took advantage of her. I wear this Ribbon because Tamao was so hurt that she wouldn't even tell me where she was going. I lost my best friend because I chose you, so isn't that enough for you? Why can't I keep a memory of her when I already gave up everything else?"

"That was your choice Nagisa, so don't play innocent and try to make it so I am the bad guy. I never forced you to accept all those things she did for you and I only offered the same thing she did and that was loving you." Shizuma wanted to try and be sympathetic for her girlfriend but she was not going to take responsibility and make it so Nagisa didn't feel the guilt she rightly deserved.

Stupefied Nagisa couldn't respond. She knew it was the truth and had thought about it many times, but it hurt all the more to hear Shizuma put it so bluntly. She knew there was something wrong with the situation. Here she was standing with the woman she loved; the woman she chose, arguing over the girl she had given up, but it didn't matter how wrong it was. She couldn't just let it end with her being the bad guy.

"I may have broke her heart, but don't you dare try to act innocent. I didn't force you to come in and dance with me, nor did I ask you to ruin Tamao's crowning moment at the last second and pull me from the ceremony," said Nagisa through tears saying anything, trying desperately to distance herself from what she knew was coming, but Shizuma would have none of it. She loved the red head, but she would not shelter Nagisa. When you make a decision you need to live with it.

"Yes Nagisa, you did break her heart," she started watching the girl flinch. She hated doing this, but it had to be done as they couldn't go on in their relationship if they couldn't move past this. "Nagisa, I am sorry to tell you, but you did those things. If you really cared for your friend like she did you, even if it was only as a friend, you would have turned down the dance. You act like it was my fault, but did you even notice how much it hurt her when you let go and grabbed my hand?" she asked.

No, she had to stop this. Nagisa couldn't let this conversation continue. It was bad enough that she couldn't see her; the feeling that her friend was gone. She already knew she caused her so much pain, and Nagisa dreaded the idea she had done even more without paying attention to it. She started backing away, planning to hide in the bathroom until both her and Shizuma could calm down and get back to their loving relationship, but Shizuma had no intention of letting her go and grabbed her arm to keep the girl from moving.

"I am serious Nagisa. Don't go blaming anyone else. I didn't force you into that dance and I didn't force you to walk out on her Nagisa. You did those things because that was what you wanted. You didn't care about how much you hurt her, and you never did. Even she knew you didn't care about her." Having enough of this, Shizuma decided to get to the point.

"How dare you! Of course I cared about her! She was my best friend and I would have done anything for her that wouldn't have hurt my relationship with you," Nagisa bellowed. "I can't believe you would imply that I didn't care for her or the fact that she knew I didn't: that is just too cruel Shizuma."

"You really didn't see it did you?" Shizuma began, truly surprised at how little the red head knew.

"What are you talking about?" Nagisa once again started to feel the same since of desperation that she felt back when she was trying to find out what Tamao was planning shortly after Shizuma's graduation. There was something about her eyes that terrified Nagisa; almost like a look of pity.

"Nagisa you never cared about let alone loved Tamao." It wasn't a question but a statement of fact, said in such a sure tone that Nagisa couldn't even react. "I hate to tell you this, but she was nothing more than an item of convenience for you. Tell me Nagisa: before she forced you out of her life, how often did you see her sad? How many times did you take the time to comfort her when she was in need? Did you make her cookies for helping you with your French, let alone all the other times she helped you?

She searched her mind franticly for anything that could prove the other girl wrong. Sure she wasn't the greatest friend and she hurt the poet, but she did not use her. She couldn't have, could she? Nagisa kept thinking: coming up with times she had been sad, times she leaned on the bluenette for support. Nothing. She came up with nothing. There was nothing left: she had no shields, not Shizuma, not misunderstandings, not even Tamao hiding. It was never that she was sorry for hurting her 'best friend.' She hadn't given a damn and now she couldn't do anything to rectify it because she was gone.

"I'm sorry Nagisa, but we have to look at facts. I knew more about Tamao then you did. You lived with her physically only; mentally you where never there unless you needed her." Shizuma spoke slowly. She knew Nagisa was in pain, but it was better to get it all out now and move on. "I know you are sorry and that you wished you could have been a better friend, but the past is the past. She loved you anyway, so she obliviously didn't hold it against you."

Nagisa was numb, no way could some treat someone else like that without even knowing it, yet she had. She knew what Shizuma was saying was the absolute truth. All the things that happened suddenly took on a new light: Tamao leaving of the dorm room came screaming back to her. Tamao was trying to work out a deal with a few of her friends that would make things easier on her and hopefully make things more enjoyable for Nagisa as well. Now she knew the person Tamao hated the most had actually paid more attention to her then she did.

"Come on, it's time to let this fake sense of love go. Tamao is gone and I am sorry to say she is not coming back. You are here with me, and I will make sure that we get through this and that you are happy. I love you Nagisa, but we can't live in the past, and you can't try and make it so you were something you never where." Shizuma finally loosened her grip on the girl's arm.

Fake. Is that what she was? Yes she decided that she was, but Nagisa was not a quitter, and she may have hurt and tormented her friend, and she may not be able to make it up to the poet, but she would be damned if she did let go of the things she learned, and if she would sacrifice the feelings that she found. She would not let Tamao's heartbreak or effort to help Nagisa be done for nothing.

"You're right Shizuma. I made so many mistakes and I will make sure that it doesn't happen again. I am sorry that both you and Tamao had to go through that, and I love you, but at least for right now I cannot take off this band. Not until at least with in my heart I have made it up to Tamao," Nagisa stated in a firm voice.

Apart of Shizuma was happy with the response. Nagisa was always a cheerful person that tried her best and being melancholy just didn't fit right on her beautiful features. Another part of her was scared. She knew Nagisa loved her, and wanted to be with her, but it was clear that the red head was determined to make it so the poet was not just some friend she forgot about but someone very special to her. Then again Shizuma figured it was only right that something like this would happen after three years, and she didn't have much to fear Tamao was not likely to come back and even if she did, Shizuma beat her once and she could do so again.

"Well I don't like it. Can you at least put it in your hair instead of on your arm? I don't think the little blue peep would like it very much if she knew it was touching certain places when we got happy," Shizuma said with a lecherous grin, making Nagisa blush and nod her head.

"Yes I think you are right, so are you ready for bed? I think we have talked enough for tonight," Nagisa said, a plan already forming in her mind. She didn't know exactly where she would end up, but she was going to make things better even if she had to give up cheese cake. Well maybe not give it up, but she would at least cut back on it if need be.

"Well, I could go for some make up sex," chuckled Shizuma, turning to head to the bedroom, only to stop at the door and turn to see that Nagisa had not followed her. "You coming?"

Nagisa looked up, coming out of her thoughts. "Oh, no I have to take care of some things. It will probably take awhile so don't wait up; remember you got class in the morning," said Nagisa and then turned and walked to the couch. Reaching into her bag and pulling out her planner, she started flipping through it.

"First we fight, and then you tease me. You're so mean Nagisa," pouted Shizuma before heading into the bedroom. 'Yes this will be very fun.' Shizuma had decided to settle down and though her days of challenge and conquest were over, she would get one last go before she got married and she knew a perfect way to end it. A small voice in the back of her head tried to warn her that she might not be so lucky this time around, but she pushed it away with a smile and thought she already won once, and there was nothing that could take her Nagisa away from her.

–

"Hello, is this Amane?" Nagisa asked through the phone.

"Yes, may I ask who is calling?" said a voice that Nagisa hadn't heard in well over a year.

"It's Aoi Nagisa, from Miator."

"Oh my, Nagisa-chan how are you? I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah it has been a long time. Hikari-sama gave me your number before I left school and told me to give you a call sometime to say hi, and if I ever needed to get a hold of her to just let you know."

"She did huh? Well it is nice hearing from ya Nagisa-chan. So what can I do for you?"

Nagisa was barely able to keep her laughter in. Amane was always very shy about her relationship with the tiny Spican. "Well I was needing some help getting a hold of someone, but I can't let the others know since I don't think they would tell me."

"Really why is that?"

"To be honest it is a really long and complicated story which would probably run both yours and Shizuma's bill through the roof."

"Shizuma? Are you to still together?"

She couldn't help but think she heard a bit of disappointment in the older girl's voice. Deciding to ignore that for now she answered the question.

"Oh yeah, after I graduated I moved into with Shizuma and got a job. I thought Hikari-sama would have mentioned it to you."

"Yeah she might have, but I was kind hoping you and Tamao-chan would have worked things out." Amane trailed off towards the end. "Anyway, how can I help you?"

"Well actually it kinda has to deal with Tamao-chan. I was hoping you could tell me where or how to get into contact with her or if you didn't know ask the others and then tell me."

"Really? I thought for sure you would still be seeing Tamao-chan. I mean you are living with Shizuma after all."

"What do you mean?" Why would she say that? Could Tamao be here, and had she been so close yet again but hiding it from her? She had to find her and make Tamao see how much she cared about her.

"Hmm, if you don't know maybe I shouldn't be talking about it. She would have said something if she wanted you to know."

"Listen Amane-sama: I know things are strange, but I really need to see Tamao-chan. I made mistakes in the past and I need to fix, so please understand and tell me. I am begging you."

"Look Nagisa-chan: I don't know what is going on, but I have feeling the situation is similar to what Hikari, Yaya, and I had to go through. Hikari and I were lucky, we hurt someone and they found someone else, but I am not sure that will happen again and I really don't want Tamao-chan to suffer any more."

Nagisa was starting to feel sick, just how many people had noticed how much she hurt Tamao and yet she had stayed completely oblivious and only thought of herself? Did she really have a right to be there for Tamao, to love Tamao as friend or otherwise? She already had two years and didn't do anything regardless of how much she started to feel for Tamao. 'What am I thinking, I have to do this. I may have wasted time but I can make up for it if I try.'

"I know, your right Amane-sama, but please understand. I do not want to hurt her anymore; in fact it is just the opposite. I want to make up for it; I care about her a lot and I am sorry for what happened, so please let me make it up to her," Nagisa pleaded with the girl over the phone for understanding.

"Fine Nagisa-chan but." Amane seemed to hesitate. She knew it needed to be said, but she wanted to stay out of this as much as possible. "Nagisa I can understand what you are doing, but this is going to be dangerous. Someone is going to get hurt and I know you don't want to think about it, but that is reality and if you can't accept that then tell me now. There will be a time when a choice is made and you are going to break someone's heart, and if you can't come to terms with that then I can't help you."

Nagisa hesitated. It was not as if she was going to break up with Shizuma and ask Tamao out, but she knew that if she went through with this then she would be opening up Tamao's hope and with her feelings already being erratic it could end things between her and Shizuma.

'No I need to do this. I can't leave things the way they are, and I need to see her again no matter the cost.' With that her mind was made up.

"I can't promise everything will work out and Tamao won't get hurt again, but I have to see her Amane-sama, and I have to make up for all the pain I put her through. I will not lie, I love Shizuma, but the last two years was so painful without Tamao-chan with me all the time and the idea of being away from her for the rest of my life truly scares me. I love her too Amane-sama. I know that I cannot love both of them the same and I have to pick one of them, but before I can do that, I need to take care of the past before I can move on." Nagisa tried to explain only making herself feel awkward finally admitting that she was in love with the blue-haired poet.

"I have to admit, I really don't want Shizuma to get hurt either, but with everything that Hikari has told me about Tamao-chan, I really believe she deserves a chance at being happy. But you better not tell anybody who told you, got it? I don't want to know what Hikari would do if she found out," Amane finished chuckling out of nervousness.

For the next fifteen minutes Amane went on to explain all she knew about the current situation, and by the end Nagisa was both relieved and seething. She was so close to her and yet she never knew. Then a thought hit her: did she know? She better not have been keeping it from her. After saying a quick goodbye Nagisa hung up the phone and stomped into the bedroom determined to get some answers.

"Did you know?" she practically screamed as she slammed the door open.

"Huh?" said Shizuma trying to wake up after having fallen asleep.

"Did you know she was here?" Nagisa asked again still feeling anger storming inside her.

"Her? You mean the poet?" Shizuma asked.

"Her name is Tamao, damn it!" shouted Nagisa, frazzled. This was the second time in one night and it was starting to get to her.

"Yes I know. How could I forget? You have been talking more about her then us tonight," Shizuma said in a rather annoyed tone. Sure it would be fun beating the poet into the ground for a second time but being woken up was too much. "And why the hell would I know where she is? Last I checked you, Nagisa were my girlfriend: not Tamao."

"Oh sorry, I just found out where she was and thought maybe you had seen her."

"Well where is she then?" asked Shizuma, although by this point she could very well guess, and if she was right then things could become fun and interesting very quickly.

Noticing the change that came across Shizuma's face, Nagisa hesitated to answer for a moment before she realized she had already said to much to back out now. Sighing she took a breath to answer and noticed Shizuma start to smile.

"Tokyo University." Shizuma's smile only got bigger.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Strawberry Panic characters or story or anything else in the story.

I have to give a big thank you again to ZIIIX (This is again several years ago at the time of original publish) for there wonderful work making the story far more readable with out them I am sure I would have given up on the story already.

 _ **Moonlight Cupid**_

"Ahh," Nagisa growled as she rolled over to look at the alarm clock reading 7:30 am. She had gotten hardly any sleep last night. After telling Shizuma that Tamao was in the city and going to the same school as her girlfriend she had tried to go to bed, but as she relaxed realization sat in.

Nagisa was in love with two people: one of which did everything in her power to make sure they didn't see each other, and the other the girl she had dreamed and fawned over for years. She was so sure she wanted to see Tamao and makeup everything to her that she had fought Shizuma and begged Amane for the chance, but now that she had actually to do it, she was unsure of herself.

Did she want to take the chance of losing Shizuma? She had dreamed of this moment for years: living with Shizuma, loving Shizuma, nothing standing in the way and now that she finally had it she wasn't sure it was what she truly wanted. What of Tamao? Did she want to risk hurting her again? She was off on her own making new friends, or maybe she even found someone else. Would it be right for her to try to force her way back into her life only to hurt her if she decided she loved Shizuma more than the bluenette? Or worse what would Nagisa do if Tamao decided she didn't love her anymore and found somebody else?

Shaking her head to try and clear it of her negative thoughts, Nagisa got out of bed. She needed to be at work at 8:15, and it took twenty minutes to get there. She got her clothes together and hurried into the shower and got cleaned up as fast as she could.

As she walked down the road, she noticed an old couple walking down the street and made her mind go back to Shizuma. Yes, she loved her, but she couldn't even kiss her anymore without thinking about Tamao and how much she had hurt her. As she approached work she made her decision; she needed to make amends to Tamao at the very least. More than that she needed to find out just how much she loved her, not for Tamao's sake but her own.

Nagisa wanted a relationship; she wanted to be able to hold and make love with her special someone, and right now she couldn't do that. She wouldn't cheat on Shizuma with Tamao, but she would find the other girl and make up for the wrongs she had committed during that time she could gauge just how much the poet had meant to her. Nagisa would have her eyes and heart open this time. She felt sad that someone was bound to get hurt, but she was going to make sure that when the time came she was with someone who not only loved her but someone she could and would give her heart, body, and soul to without any excuses.

–

Shizuma couldn't concentrate on this morning's lecture, as she was too busy going through scenarios in her mind on how to woo Nagisa all over again. It felt good to know that she could win her all over again, as it would be a great way for them to grow closer again after all the time Shizuma had spent away Strawberry dorms.

Granted most would think that trying to win your own girlfriend over to be ridiculous, but like everything Shizuma took it as a challenge that she would win. She knew that this only happened because of the long time spent away from each other and the fact Nagisa was her girlfriend made her all the more confident. There was no way, no matter how much Nagisa thought she loved or cared for the blue-haired girl that Nagisa would ever leave her. She was Nagisa's first love and her dream girl. Besides, this would be a good way to make sure everyone knew that not only was she already involved with someone but she was in love with another girl, and finally maybe those idiot men would get off her back and stop trying to pick her up.

She almost felt a little pity for Tamao, but that was quickly wiped away. Tamao whether she liked it or not was interfering with her Nagisa, even if it was for a short amount of time, and to be quite honest she never really liked the blue-haired girl anyway.

With those thoughts in mind she came up with her first idea on reminding Nagisa just how much she loved Shizuma.

Anyone seated around the silver-haired beauty felt a cold chill run down their spine from the scary grin now plastered across her face.

–

'Now how to find her?' thought Nagisa sitting down outside in a comfortable chair for her break.

She knew Tamao was going to Tokyo U and she might even be able to guess at some of the class's she is taking if she went, but the school was so big and there were so many people; it would be hell to try and find her before or after class, not to mention Nagisa didn't even attend Tokyo U.

'No I got to find some other way of contacting her, but how?' Nagisa finished banishing the thoughts of going to the school directly. Amane didn't know her schedule; she knew that from the phone call, and the chances of the others telling her where slim to none. Even if she got on her hands and knees and begged, they wouldn't let it slip. She was lucky that she got what she did out of Amane, certain to never mention she did so or else Amane would probably be put through the ringer.

'But she said she would contact me and let me know how things were going and she has never broken a promise.' That was right: Tamao always kept her word, but trying to get the information for her directly would prove fruitless. Nagisa already knew that Tamao would have to be forced into letting Nagisa back into her life.

Not being able to come up with anything Nagisa got up and prepared for her break to end. It was going to be a long day, as one of her coworkers called in sick and the boss had asked Nagisa if she could cover for her. Not having class that day and feeling so restless with all the things going on in her mind, Nagisa agreed to it even though she had gotten such little sleep. Well this would make sure she slept well tonight. At least she thought.

The day wore on without Nagisa making any mistakes much to her own surprise. Finally she sat down for her last break of the day. It was starting to get dark outside but the cool weather felt great on Nagisa after all the work she had done. Still she had yet to think of any way of getting a hold of Tamao and had long since given up; deciding to figure it out another day when she wasn't so tired.

Her relaxing was interrupted by a phone ringing. Looking up behind her, she saw a girl that took her breath away for what must have been the tenth time. The young lady came here a couple times a week. Nagisa had noticed how beautiful she was the first time she had ever seen her, but tonight was different: it was almost like the moon light made her glow. 'So beautiful' she thought, and it was truth, but there was something odd about the girl. It was her intensity Nagisa decided after a minute. Most people she knew always thought that Shizuma was intense but this woman made the gorgeous silver-haired woman look tame.

"Hello Himeko, where are you guys? I have been waiting her for almost twenty minutes." Nagisa turned away not wanting to overhear the woman's conversation, hating it when people invaded others' privacy.

She was going to get up when something the dark-haired girl cut through her and made her stop.

"Alright I understand, but tell Suzumi. I don't appreciate making plans for a meeting and then cancel so she can work on her writing."

'Suzumi? Writing?' Could it be? No there had to be hundreds of Suzumis and just because this one was a writer didn't mean anything. Nagisa tried to reason with herself, but she started listening again, hoping with a tiny shred that it was indeed her friend that the girl talked about.

"No, Himeko I'm not mad. It's just with how busy classes are we have not gotten to spend a lot of time together and I miss you. So I am just disappointed that you were hung up." Nagisa couldn't help but blush a little bit when listening to the intense girl's voice soften when she was trying to comfort the girl over the phone. 'She must really care about her,' thought Nagisa.

"It's okay; we don't have to meet tonight. Besides, it is getting late and I should be heading back anyway. Just make sure you get enough sleep; I don't want you staying up all night with Suzumi again, got it?" There was the name again. So her name was Suzumi, she was a writer and she was going to school. Once again Nagisa tried to convince herself it was just a coincidence, but she had no other leads so it was making her hope that this girl was indeed friends with Tamao.

"Himeko I am going to pay for my office and I will text you when I get home." There was a pause. "Yes, wish Suzumi a pleasant evening as well. Love you too. Goodnight Himeko." With that she hung up the phone and began to stand up.

Nagisa was fighting with herself. Sure they were anything but conclusive, but still she had nothing else. Even if it was a slight chance she should take it, but did she really want to make a fool of herself? Even if she was willing to and the girl did know Tamao, would she tell a complete stranger? Worst of all, if she didn't take the chance now, how long would it be before she saw Tamao? Steeling her resolve, she got up and followed the girl into the establishment deciding to ask her.

"Umm, excuse me?" Nagisa spoke out quietly getting the girl's attention.

"Do I know you?" The woman spoke, her eyes radiating coldness that told Nagisa that she didn't like to be bothered and that was exactly what Nagisa was doing.

"Ahhh… I was just wondering if you where a Tokyo U student," Nagisa squeaked out wondering what had happened to the soft and kind person she had heard speaking on the phone. 'Himeko whoever she was must be very special indeed to this woman,' she thought, quickly becoming nervous in front of the woman towering over her.

"Why?" was all the woman said, as she narrowed her eye's at Nagisa.

Now Nagisa was really nervous. She could almost see herself being run through if she told the girl that she had eavesdropped on her call with Himeko, but she had to find Tamao no matter what.

"Look," said Nagisa trying to calm her raging nerves. "I had a really good friend in high school and I know she goes to Tokyo U, and I just happened to hear you mention someone by the name of Suzumi and was hoping you knew her," Nagisa finished wanting to back away as the girl raised her eyebrow, clearly not liking the fact someone was listening in on her call.

"Were you eavesdropping on me?" The voice was even colder than before and made Nagisa recoil.

"No, please, I was on my break and I really miss her a lot. I need to see her: I did things I never should have and I want to make it up to her, so I had to take the chance and ask if you knew her even if you didn't. I know I sound crazy but please, I didn't mean to be rude," Nagisa spoke out quickly, trying her best to apologize. There was something truly scary about this woman and she had no desire to have that directed at her.

"Himemiya Chikane," the girl spoke much softer than before.

"Huh?" Nagisa finally looked up and saw the girls eyes had softened. It seemed like the area around her almost looked warmer, and she seemed to look at Nagisa in what she could swear was understanding.

"My name is Himemiya Chikane," Chikane answered.

"Oh, I am sorry my name is Aoi Nagisa," Nagisa answered, surprised by the girls sudden change in demeanor.

"I know. Yes I am a student of Tokyo U, now tell me who are you looking for," Chikane said, the girl's earnest desire to see Suzumi and talking about making up for things she had done wrong struck a note within her, having gone through something akin to that for her soul mate.

"Oh I'm sorry," stuttered Nagisa, thrown off by Chikane saying she knew who she was. "I went to high school with a very beautiful girl name Suzumi Tamao. She loved to write poetry," said Nagisa not being able to hide the blush the crept onto her face when describing Tamao and calling her beautiful in front of Chikane.

"I see," Chikane replied trying not to laugh. She was a shy one just like her Himeko. "Anything else?"

Nagisa didn't really know how to respond, figuring that the Suzumi that Chikane knew would be more then described if it was her Tamao-chan. Nagisa suddenly froze up. 'Her Tamao-chan? What the hell? Where did that come from?' Nagisa shook her head trying to rid the distracting thoughts from her mind.

"Well if you can't give me any more information, I don't think I can help you," said Chikane, shaking her head. There was something about this girl. She didn't know what it was, but Chikane did think that she was a good person and wanted to help her. With that she started walking to the door. She may want to help but she needed to get home and call Himeko; she missed her terribly.

"Wait," pleaded Nagisa. Chikane turned and looked at the girl. "Um, she has blue hair, is about my height just slightly taller, and is extremely kind, but a little to touchy feely for some people."

Chikane thought for a moment almost as if she was trying to decide something.

"No, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen her before," Chikane said, truly feeling for the girl when she looked down almost as if her heart broke. "But." Nagisa's head shot up. It looked as though she was about to cry but seemed to have regained hope.

"I am a Tokyo U student as is my fiancée. I can ask her to ask around and if we see or meet, her I can try and let her know you are looking for her. How's that?" Chikane asked, although the girl looked sad she could definitely see a change in her. Then almost as if a light bulb went off in her head she looked up to Chikane questioningly.

"Why would you do this for me? I haven't done anything for you, other than eavesdrop on your phone call and then bother you about someone you don't know," Nagisa asked truly grateful that Chikane had offered to do so, but not understanding the reason for it.

"Honestly? Because I know what it is like to lose the Sun that lights my Moon, and I never want to experience losing that kind of love again," Chikane responded.

Nagisa couldn't fathom what the older woman was talking about, but she could see the love in her eyes when speaking of her sun.

"Oh, well uh, I don't like Tamao-chan like that. I just really want to see her," Nagisa tried to explain, suddenly very nervous.

"Sure you don't. I must have misjudged you," said Chikane.

"NO... I mean yes… I mean I am already in a relationship," Nagisa fumbled out.

"Hmm I know." Chikane just smiled at the red head. Nagisa didn't know how to put it, but the look seemed to go right through her, as if Chikane could see things about Nagisa that even she didn't know, not to mention again she mentioned she knew something about Nagisa, But how could she? They had never spoken before this.

"Well, I will have to bring Himeko here. She will love to see your various facial expressions. Do you work this Friday, Nagisa?" Chikane asked while chuckling from the look on Nagisa's face.

"Well yes I do, I have to work in the evening. Why?"

"That is wonderful, and I have been meaning to bring Himeko here anyway. I like this place: it is quite, and I can think. Well when waitresses aren't hounding me for information I guess," Chikane said with a smile as Nagisa lowered her head in embarrassment. "Anyway Himeko and I will ask around and see what we can find out and I will let you know on Friday. How does that sound?"

"Sure umm." Nagisa noticed that earlier she had said her fiancée would ask around then she said Himeko. Could they be? "Never mind that sounds great to me." Deciding that one, it wasn't a big deal anyway since she was the same way and also the fact that wanting to keep her head on her shoulders was probably a good thing, she didn't ask Chikane too much about her personal life.

"Great. The three of us will see you on Friday. Have a wonderful evening Nagisa, and tell your girlfriend I said hi," said Chikane with a smile, turning to walk out of restaurant.

Nagisa couldn't say anything. Damn, just how much did Chikane know about her? 'Wait three of them? Chikane, Himeko and who else?' She was grateful to the woman she just met, but she sure was strange as hell. Finally, straightening her uniform, she started to move before a voice spoke out from the door.

"Oh Nagisa, make sure that Himeko is made happy ok?" Chikane said with a smile and then when Nagisa didn't respond she added in a deadly serious voice that shook Nagisa to her core. "OK Nagisa?" Nagisa could just nod her head in reply and watch as Chikane disappeared again.

'Yeah, definitely weird,' thought Nagisa. And with that Nagisa went and finished the rest of her shift and set off on her way back towards her house. Between work and Chikane she couldn't wait to get some rest.

–

"Hello Chikane-chan."

"Hello Himeko, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine Chikane-chan. I thought you were going to just text me when you got home and head straight to bed."

"I was Himeko, but I found something very interesting before I got home. Is Suzumi there?"

"Yes she's here. What did you find Chikane-chan?"

"Something I think you will just adore, but before that may I speak with Suzumi please?"

"Yeah, just let me get her."

Himeko took the phone away from her ear, surprised that Chikane would want to her roommate, but figured that if it was important she would tell her eventually.

"Tamao-san, are you busy? Chikane-chan would like to talk to you."

Tamao looked up from her paper she had been working on for her creative writing course. Surprised would be putting it mildly, as she got the impression that Himemiya didn't like her. Then again she thought Himemiya wouldn't like anyone that got too close to Himeko.

"No I can take a quick break." With that Himeko handed her the phone.

"Hello, Tamao speaking."

"Good evening Suzumi-san."

"What can I do for you Himemiya-sama?"

Tamao didn't really know what to think of the cold blue-haired woman. When she first met Himeko the girl had been looking for a roommate, and Tamao not wanting to live in the student dorms had been all too happy to the agreement Himeko had offered her. The rent was fair and the apartment was plenty big enough to house the two with room to spare, and it was in a location that gave the writer plenty of silence to work on her poems and stories while at the same time make it easy to get back and forth from the college. It all seemed too perfect, and of course it was.

Her first night in the apartment Himeko had gone to great lengths to make sure they got to know one another: getting dinner and talking about school and her other hobbies. Himeko was a very accomplished photographer, but apparently was not the best student, and she had only made it in to Tokyo U thanks to her fiancée pulling some strings to get her in.

Not much later there had been a knock on the door and Himeko had got up to answer it. She came back into the living room with a beautiful woman that had long midnight blue hair and eyes of deep sapphire. Tamao had never seen anyone like her before. Himeko introduced her as Himemiya Chikane, her fiancée. She was shocked at first: where Himeko was extremely kind and gave off a since of warmth, Himemiya was incredibly intimidating and gave off an aura that bordered on freezing.

They had seemed complete opposites at first glance. Himemiya only seemed to prove the point as fast as she thought it. She had sat down straight across from Tamao, and if looks could kill Tamao was sure she wouldn't have made it through the night. After about twenty more minutes of conversing with Himeko, she had excused herself to go down to the local mart to get some of Himemiya's favorite drinks. She said she had run out and forgot to pick some up on her way home from school. She proceeded to offer thee two to join her, and Tamao had hoped that Himemiya would accompany her as she declined, saying that she still had things to finish unpacking.

For the first time Tamao saw Himemiya remove the almost constant scowl she wore on her face when she looked at Himeko. Clearly torn, it was obvious she wanted to go, but then she had surprised Himeko and Tamao by declining the offer. Tamao knew this couldn't be good and just stayed sitting as Himeko gathered up her purse Knowing she wasn't going to get anything done, she tried to make herself comfortable and waited for the inevitable.

The moment the door closed behind Himeko, Himemiya turned back to Tamao; her scowl fully back in place as though it had never left.

"I think it is time we had a little discussion," Himemiya told Tamao. There was no option and Tamao knew right away, that if she said one thing that Himemiya didn't approve of she would be out of here faster than she could blink.

"Sure that sounds good."

"Your name is Suzumi Tamao correct?" It wasn't a question, and Tamao knew it. She could tell that even trying to joke with this woman would end very badly; losing her new place of residence would probably be the least of her worries.

"Yes." She figured answering as quickly and honestly as she could would be the best way to make it through the interrogation Himemiya decided to call a discussion.

"You graduated from St. Miator of Astraea Hill?"

"Yes, I was the top of my class."

"How unfortunate." Tamao didn't know how to respond so she just sat there waiting for the woman to continue.

"You are attending Tokyo U and have a scholarship based on your previous writing exploits correct?"

"Well I scored high enough to get in without it, but yes I did also receive a scholarship. Apparently they really liked several of my poems that I submitted as writing samples as well as a copy of the play scripted in high school based on Carmen."

"Yes, I am well aware of that."

"Oh, well if you know then why are you asking me?"

"Because I want you realize just how much you have to lose if you try anything or hurt Himeko."

Tamao knew the Himemiya wasn't threatening her; she meant it and she had the power behind to make sure that it came true.

"Look, I am not looking for trouble. I only came here because this is one of the highest rated schools when it comes to writing in the whole country, and having it on a resume after graduation will open many doors for me." Tamao didn't really know what the girl wanted, but it was clear that she would do anything to make sure Himeko was safe and that no one would mess her. "As for Himeko, I am grateful for her offering me a great deal on the apartment, but I am already in love with someone and have no desire to try anything with her or cause her trouble."

Tamao wasn't sure if that would be enough, but hoped it would at least calm down the woman and protect her education.

"Yes from what information I had gathered it seems as though you are telling the truth. To be quite honest I have nothing against you personally. I have not had a, how should I say, pleasant experience that came from your school a few years back," Himemiya explained. "As such, I do not have the highest trust for those that come from St. Miator."

Tamao figured that this was as close to a welcome as she was going to get from Himemiya, and it seemed as though she was going to allow her to stay. At the same time, however, she seemed as though she was not going to be putting any trust in Tamao, and if she deemed Tamao stepping out of line and affecting either Himeko or her cold fiancée, the problem would be swiftly dealt with.

Figuring Himeko would still be a few minutes and hating awkward silences Tamao risked trying to talk to female.

"Um may I ask you why you have such a problem with Miator? You mentioned problems with some of our past students," Tamao asked, hoping to find the source of the other girl's contempt.

"Not students, student." Himemiya corrected, "Hanazono Shizuma to-" Himemiya was cut off by a groan from the shorter blue-haired girl.

Tamao backed away, shaking her head, and could swear that Himemiya was considering grabbing a clever and hacking off her limbs for being interrupted. Apparently this girl was an even bigger stickler for proper etiquette then the psychotic nuns back at Astraea Hill.

"Sorry, I didn't mean cut you off like that. It was rude of me," Tamao apologized quickly, trying to calm the other girl down. "It's just my life always seems be made harder because of Shizuma-sama."

The other girl visibly calmed down if only a little bit.

"You Hanazono-san personally?"

Tamao just nodded her head, not wanting to risk making the girl angry again.

"And are you friends with Hanazono-san?" Himemiya's face clearly showed that should she answer the question wrong she would be out of the apartment before Himeko could return.

"No, 'friends' is the last way I think you could describe the two of us."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, let's just say neither of us liked each other very much. May I ask why you seem to dislike Shizuma-sama so much?" Tamao figured this was a dangerous question. Shizuma was obviously the source of the girl's ire and probing to deep could negatively affect Tamao regardless of how Tamao and Shizuma felt about each other.

"We are very similar in the fact that we are both daughters to wealthy families, and we will one day take them over. But the way we live our lives are completely different. I do not approve of the way she carries herself nor how she acts in public. To be fair it is not her fault, but I do not like people that crave attention. I will use my money and power when necessary and to make people happy; I do not like that use their status to live in the lime light.

"Not to mention her irrational jealousy of me taking part of her fan club," finished Himemiya.

"Fan club?"

"Yes fan club. Back in high school, due to my skills and my last name, I had many admirers that would follow me around and try to gain my favor. It was quite possibly the most infuriating thing I have ever had to deal with. Well when I made the transfer over to Tokyo U, it seemed as though it would grow again. Then Hanazono showed up. At first I was quite happy about the sudden change to be honest with you. She was someone that liked the attention: seemed to thrive on it really, and it was perfect for me. I just wanted to get through school and spend my time with Himeko since she would not allow us to share a living space or make it public knowledge that we are together."

"Really? Why is that?" Tamao immediately regretted speaking. Damn her curiosity, just when she got Himemiya talking she went and interrupted her again.

"You may speak with Himeko about that later, and if she wished to tell you she may do so." Tamao was surprised that not only did she not get disemboweled, let alone reprimanded, but Himemiya had given her consent to ask Himeko personal questions. Tamao was sure two minutes ago that if she was allowed to stay it would be on a strictly no-talking-to-Himeko policy.

"Should I continue or have you heard enough? Himemiya asked.

Again all Tamao could do was nod. This Himemiya was definitely a strange one: one minute she is ready to kill you and the next she tries to have a personal conversation.

"Well anyway, one of my favorite things to do before we came here was put on private piano recitals for Himeko. She loved to get dressed up and listen to me play, so she had asked me to play at opening night one evening and I did so. Apparently, a lot of people liked the tune, but I didn't really care. Himeko had enjoyed it and that is all that mattered to me. Well, it seemed like I wasn't the only popular girl that played piano. Our mutual friend does too, or so I hear. Anyway word got around about how skilled people say I am, and apparently some of Hanazono's fan club thought it would be a good change of pace to switch over to me.

"Needless to say this made neither her nor I happy. I think you can tell by this point that I am not a people person, nor do I wish to be. Well Hanazono seemed to think otherwise and resented the fact that I took some of her precious groupies and decided it was a good idea to try and confront me about it. I will admit Suzumi I do not take well to people trying to talk down to me." With that Himemiya stopped, which was just fine with Tamao as she had already heard enough to understand that Himemiya didn't like Shizuma, and that was not going to change. If she ever decided to pull what Shizuma did with Himeko, Tamao wouldn't be as lucky to walk away as Shizuma had, which probably had a lot to do with Himeko as well, if Tamao guessed correctly.

"What about you?"

"No, I like having lots of friends, but I have no desire for a fan club," Tamao responded trying to distance herself from Shizuma as much as she can.

"Haha, no I meant why do you dislike her?"

Tamao sat there for a second rattled by the intense girl's eerie giggle. "Well, what happened was pretty public. I would have thought that you find it out with whatever other information you got."

"To be honest I didn't bother to find out much more then what I already asked you about. I will admit I was too quick to judge you, as my previous experience with Hanazono did not leave a favorable opinion with me and I am quite protective of my Sun," Himemiya said, her apology actually catching Tamao off guard.

"Sun?"

"Yes my Sun," was all Himemiya said, clearly not planning to elaborate. Tamao decided to ask Himeko about it later.

"Well, there's a long version and a short version; which would like?" asked Tamao.

"The short, Himeko is very kind and quite inquisitive about those around her, and I know she wants to know every detail, so you can save it for her." Her bluntness was unlike anything she had ever seen.

"Well to be frank, we were both in love with the same girl," Tamao began.

"'Were?'"

"Well technically we both still are, but she chose Shizuma so I came here trying to separate myself from her to get over her. Still working on that though. Anyway Nagisa-chan, the girl we love, entered into a contest together after she broke her heart, and when we were about to be crown Étoile- best couple on campus pretty much- Shizuma-sama burst through the chapel doors and proclaimed her love for Nagisa. Long story short Nagisa left with her and didn't return to our dorm room until much later that night extremely happy and she has been with her ever since."

"Interesting. She is an idiot but interesting."

"Please don't talk badly about Nagisa-chan. She was just following her heart; there is nothing wrong with that." Tamao defended her friend as much as she dared to girl sitting across from her.

Himemiya just sat thinking about whether or not to push the subject but decided to let it go. It's not like she cared really anyway, plus she knew she would be hearing all about it from Himeko the moment she found out. Himeko was a hopeless romantic and she knew that the blonde's heart would break for her new friend.

"Well I should be going. I have lots of work to take care of and Himeko will want to spend time getting to know you. Suzumi, you don't seem like a bad person, in fact I am quite certain that Himeko will take quite a liking to you, but if you are an inconvenience to her in any way I will make sure your life is a living hell. Are we clear?"

–

Tamao had not really spoken with Himemiya since then, only exchanging hellos as they passed each other in the living room when she was over to visit Himeko after school, and on Sunday which was their day to relax and spend time together.

"Are you doing anything this Friday in the evening?" asked Himemiya.

"Nothing as of yet. Is there something you need?"

"Good, you will accompany Himeko and I to a local restaurant. Be ready go at around five thirty."

"May I ask why I am required to go?"

"There is something that I want to show the both of you. Now make sure you are ready I will not allow any excuses for cancellations this time, understand?"

"I guess that is fine, but I can't be out too late. I am sure that I will have even more work by Friday."

"That's fine. All I need is a couple of hours."

"I was thinking more like an hour."

"We will see once we get there. Now can I speak to Himeko again?"

"One second, I will get her." Tamao had a bad feeling about this, she knew it wouldn't be anything dangerous; it was clear that Himemiya loved Himeko more than anything and would not let anything befall her if she could help it.

"Himeko-san, your fiancée wants to talk to you." Himeko was next to her in the blink of an eye with a big smile on her face. Sometimes it amazed Tamao how truly in love the females were, almost like they had spent an eternity together.

Handing Himeko the phone, Tamao sat back at her desk and began working on her creative paper again.

–

"What was that all about Chikane-chan?" Himeko asked her Moon excitedly.

"I ran into someone today."

"Really? Who?"

"Aoi Nagisa."

Himeko stood there shocked, and quickly looked over at the poet who was reabsorbed into her work. "Really?"

"Yes. Not quite what I pictured, though."

"Why is that Chikane-chan?"

"I don't know; she came across as a really sweet girl. She heard me on the phone with you earlier and asked me if I knew a Suzumi Tamao."

"Really, what did you say?"

"I told her I didn't know who that was. She seemed really down so I told her I would ask around and see if anybody that I knew knows who she is."

"Okay, but I don't understand why."

"I think it would be good if the two saw each other again."

"I don't know Chikane-chan. Tamao-san seemed pretty adamant about staying away from her."

"I know Himeko, you told me remember? But you didn't see her: she really regrets how things turned out and she really wants to see her again."

"That is what you talked to Tamao-san about?"

"No I just told her we are going to dinner this Friday and she has to be there."

"But isn't that like lying? I don't know if we should force her Chikane-chan."

"Himeko, sometimes people need a push. We of all people should know that. Listen love: the girl is sorry and I know she loves Suzumi. Granted she is still with Hanazono, but still I could see it in her eyes Himeko."

"Yeah, but what if she gets hurt again? It will be all our fault Chikane-chan."

"I am not going to deny that it could happen Himeko, but didn't you say last week that you wished you could help her feel better and make her happy? This could be our only chance to do so, and I really think things could turn out differently this time. Besides, if Suzumi tries to talk to her and just can't do it, then Aoi will be at work and won't be able to follow her. She doesn't know anything about any of us, so there is no risk in her trying to find her again."

"I guess, well what should I do?"

"Up until Friday try and get Suzumi open to the idea of seeing Aoi again. I know it will be hard, but try to be subtle about it. As for Friday, the place is nothing fancy so just dress comfortably."

"Okay I will do my best Chikane-chan."

"Well, I think that is all. I got to get to sleep I have an early class tomorrow."

"Alright Chikane-chan. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too Himeko." A pause.

"Himeko."

"What Chikane-chan?"

"On Friday wear the purple ones I got you for your birthday."

"CHIKANE-chan!" Himeko squeaked turning bright red.

"What?"

"Only if you wear the red ones I got for you."

"Fine, goodnight." And with that Chikane hung up.

'I really hope everything goes well for Tamao,' Himeko thought, then headed to the bedroom. She need to make sure Chikane's favorite Bra and Panty set where clean and ready for Friday.

–

Nagisa finally made it home and unlocked the door and headed directly to the kitchen to get something to drink before heading to bed.

"Your home late," Shizuma spoke out from the couch behind her.

Nagisa nearly jumped a full foot off the ground in surprise from the unexpected voice.

"Are you ok Nagisa?" Shizuma asked.

"Yeah, I had to work a double shift today. A girl called in sick and the boss asked me cover," explained Nagisa. She didn't even have the energy for a shower; she just wanted to sleep. She had gotten maybe a total of three hours of it in the last two days.

"Oh you poor thing. Why don't you take a bath and relax?"

"No thanks, I don't have the energy for a bath. I just need to sleep," Nagisa said walking up and giving Shizuma a hug and a kiss on the cheek then turned for the door to the bedroom.

'Damn it, there goes my plans for the night, and I had such a romantic evening planned' thought Shizuma.

"Oh yeah." Shizuma turned around to see Nagisa standing in the bedroom door way dressed in a shirt and shorts. 'Damn, don't even get to admire the view tonight.' "I met a friend of yours from school today, and she told me to say hi to you."

"Really, who was it?" asked Shizuma.

"Himemiya Chikane," Nagisa said as she turned around and headed back into the bedroom.

'What the hell.' What was Himemiya doing around her Nagisa? she had already tried to make her look bad by playing the piano and then spreading rumors that she was better than her. Now she was trying to move in on her Nagisa. 'No I won't allow it, no one can have her, not the poet and certainly not Himemiya and she would make sure of it.' Shizuma swore to herself, angrier than she had been since Miyuki had asked her to train Nagisa and the poet for the Étoile election.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kannazuki No Miko story or characters.

A/N

I have more than a few Fan Fics, that have Shizuma and Chikane in them, they are usually portrayed as friends if not lovers, while that is fine, I never saw them actually getting along, Chikane could give a damn about almost anything outside Himeko and do not care for the Spotlight where I always saw Shizuma even after getting with Nagisa as someone that would love being in the spotlight, I am not trying to say she wouldn't be faithful or love Nagisa any less.

Chikane's personality although seems like it changes a lot it really doesn't she opens up slightly to Tamao because she truly believes she is no threat to Himeko, and she wants to help Nagisa, because she is a good person, but it is really because she knows it would make Himeko happy to see her new friend be able to love someone the same way she does Chikane.

Yes I know I said I would swing the chapters back towards Shizuma, and that hasn't happened yet, I think I need to make it through to Tamao and Nagisa remeeting so I can really have Nagisa's attention on Shizuma, because if I did it beforehand I think Nagisa would just have to much on her mind when ti comes to Tamao.

One last thing, the red and purple are switched on purpose, I also loved how they wore each others Miko robes, to me is showed that they belonged to one another and no one else. And this was my little way of working it into the story.

Thank you for reading and please leave a review, I would like to hear what people think and how I presented Himeko and Chikane.


	4. Otaku Cook

Otaku Cook

Nagisa finally woke up at 9 am, her mind taking a while to get into focus. After a few minutes, she raised herself from her bed, went over to the dresser she shared with Shizuma and took out a pair of panties and belly shirt. Heading to the bathroom, she sat the clothes down on the sink and turned the water on and let the shower water start to heat up.

Stripping out of her clothes she stepped over to the hamper and dumped the dirty clothes in, walking over to the shower preparing to get in, but right as she stuck out her leg to step in the phone in the living room rang.

'Darn it.' Nagisa gnashed her teeth; the day was already starting to get to her. She had worked so much the day before with so little sleep that even good night's rest and sleeping in wasn't enough for her body to recover.

"Hello, Hanazono/Aoi residence," Nagisa said into the phone just wanting to get it over with, not happy about standing in the middle of her living room completely naked all by herself.

"Good morning Aoi-san," a familiar voice came through the other end of the phone.

"Himemiya-sam?" Nagisa asked suddenly feeling exposed, almost like Chikane was in the room with her. Walking over and grabbing some coat, she put it on to try and make herself feel a little bit more comfortable.

"Yes, I was just calling to talk to you for a moment. Are you busy?"

Nagisa desperately wanted to say yes and get off the phone and get dressed. But there was a chance that Chikane had information on Tamao so she would just have to endure it.

"No, I am free. What can I do for you?"

"I was just calling to let you know that we will arrive at the restaurant at 5:30 tomorrow."

"Did you find any information about Tamao-chan?"

"Not yet, but I do know someone that recognized the description that you gave me, and she said she will talk to the girl for me. If you are lucky, then I might be able to bring the girl tomorrow."

"Really? Oh, thank you so much Himemiya-sama. If there is anything I can do for you, then please don't hesitate to ask," Nagisa said, suddenly forgetting about her feeling uncomfortable and starting to think of all the things she wanted to say to Tamao the moment she saw her again.

"Actually there is something you can do for me Aoi-san."

"Sure, what is it?" Nagisa said surprised that Himemiya actually took her up on her offer, not that she minded. She meant what she said, but it still surprised her.

"Well, actually there are two things. First make sure that Himeko's order is perfect, and whatever happens no Shiitake mushrooms. Got that?"

"I will do my best to make sure her food is perfect, and I promise no Shiitake mushrooms will get near her food," Nagisa said committing the fact that Himeko hated Shiitake Mushrooms. "What is the second thing you would like me to do?"

"Don't disappoint me."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't disappoint me Aoi Nagisa. This will probably be your last chance."

"I am not sure what you mean, Himemiya-sama."

"You will when the time comes, and remember what I said. Have a good day Aoi-san," Chikane finished and hung up the phone.

Nagisa just stood there for a minute thinking over what Chikane had said to her. She didn't know what she meant, but knew that Chikane meant precisely what she said. Hanging up the phone and dropping coat on the back of the couch she walked back to the bathroom.

Turning the water back on, Nagisa got in and proceeded to clean her body for the upcoming day. During her shower her mind worked back through what Chikane had said, knowing it had to do with Tamao. Even though Chikane said she had yet to find her, she either knew she would or was lying. It didn't matter, as her warning that if Nagisa screwed this up, she would lose Tamao forever had done its job, and got the red head's mind running, thinking of things she needed to say and do to make sure that Tamao not only knew she was sorry but that she loved her.

Getting out of the shower Nagisa quickly dried herself off and threw on her shirt and panties, walking to the kitchen she decided to make herself some breakfast to try and help her mentally focus. Looking over she saw a picture of Shizuma. That's when guilt chose to set in.

"What am I doing? I have completely ignored Shizuma for the last few days. I need to make it up to her, but I can't not go through with finding Tamao and seeing how I feel about her," Nagisa said, talking herself through what needed to be done. "There is no point in lying to Shizuma, Tamao or myself. I love Tamao, I am in love with Tamao, and I want Tamao in my life, but I need to know if those feelings are stronger then what I have for Shizuma. Not only if they are stronger but if they will last moving forward"

"I am going to have to break one of their hearts, but this will be the last time I ever do this to someone, that I can promise. I will never hurt them again after this," said Nagisa to herself, looking up at the clock she saw it read 12 pm: another hour before she would have to leave for school.

Nagisa decided to get dressed the rest of the way and turned on the TV to try and pass the time. She decided to stop on some anime that she had never seen, but it seemed interesting. There was a little flying machine that was piloted by two adorable girls. After watching for a few minutes, Nagisa was enthralled as they both leaned out of the cockpit and gave each other a kiss.

Nagisa's first thought was to go back years ago to her first kiss with Shizuma, suddenly missing contact of such an intimate nature. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture her and Shizuma making out, slowly making their way to the bedroom, and almost tripping over things on the way there. Finally making it to the bedroom, they made their way to the bed; lying Nagisa on her back, Shizuma started kissing her neck. Nagisa squeezed her eyes closed thoroughly enjoying the moment.

Nagisa could feel her lover slowly stripping away clothes. Having removed both her shirt and bra, her lover began working over Nagisa's chest making her heat up between her legs. She needed it, she couldn't hold back any longer; Nagisa was sorry, but she was an eighteen-year-old woman that had her own needs.

"Please," she called out to her lover, pleading her to make love to her.

"Please what, Nagisa-chan?" her lover called out. 'Nagisa-chan?' Why did that voice sound so familiar yet so different then what she expected? Her body still on fire, Nagisa opened her eyes; instead of seeing the former Étoile's silver hair, she found a beautiful blue-haired girl.

"Tamao-chan?" Nagisa asked out, the poet slowly nodded her head, yes, letting her hand rove over Nagisa's naked form, making her twitch in excitement. Then to her surprise and delight, Tamao began stripping her clothes off.

"Do you love me Nagisa-chan?" Tamao whispered, her skirt dropping to the ground leaving her standing there in just her bra and panties. Slowly, teasingly she reached up to her bra.

"Yes," Nagisa barely managed to get out, trying to keep herself from drooling as Tamao removed her bra and threw it to the side.

"Do you want me Nagisa?" Tamao was making her tell precisely what she wanted.

"Yes, please Tamao-chan, please make love with me, I love you." Nagisa would beg if she had to. Tamao was back with her, offering herself to her. Nagisa had been dreaming about being with her for so many weeks, and now her chance was upon her.

"What about Shizuma-sama?" her best friend asked her.

The fire in Nagisa's body cooled suddenly. What about Shizuma? Could she do this to her? She knew she shouldn't, but they just told Tamao she loved her and wanted her; she had chosen Tamao. Could she back out now? Did she want to?

"I thought you said you loved me Nagisa-chan," said Tamao, slowly removing both her body from Nagisa's; her hands no longer dancing across her body leaving a terrible sense of longing, leaving her body completely unsatisfied. Suddenly Tamao was up and putting her clothes on. She was leaving, Nagisa realized. She was going to leave her again because she had broken her heart by teasing her.

Tamao had given her everything, and Nagisa threw it back in her face. 'No not again. I want Tamao, and I need her now'. Sitting up quickly Nagisa reached out and grabbed hold of Tamao's wrist, stopping the young poet from doing any more.

"I love you Tamao. Please, I am sorry I hurt you, I am sorry it took me so long, but please don't leave." Nagisa tried to put her heart into those few words to get Tamao to understand. "I am not letting you go again. I love you, and I am going to show you Tamao-chan." With that, Nagisa pulled the girl hard and positioned her on top of her lap. Nagisa began kissing Tamao as though she wouldn't live to see tomorrow. Suddenly the intense heat that engulfed Nagisa's body earlier came back more fierce than ever before.

"Tamao-chan please, right now I need you to make love to me," Nagisa said snapping her eyes closed; the feeling in her body overwhelming her. Tamao spoke the words she Nagisa needed to hear.

"I love you Nagisa-chan, I have been wanting to do this for years." With that Tamao took Nagisa's chest in one of her hands while the other one traveled down barely touching Nagisa's bikini area, sending electricity shooting through the redhead.

This was it. Nagisa was going to make love to Tamao: give herself to Tamao, and they would become one, but right when it was about to happen a loud ringing noise shot through the living room, causing Nagisa's eye's to shoot open. She was back in the living room, her own hand down her pants.

Realizing what had happened Nagisa's face lit up like a red blinking light, her face burning more than could handle. She dreamed of making love to Tamao, not only that but Tamao was taking her and making her Tamao's forever, and she allowed it. Not just allowed it: she wanted it. The realization that it was Tamao being above had caused the fire within her go far beyond what she imagined it ever could.

What had happened to Shizuma? She was the one who had taken her to the bedroom, the one that had started the fire, but she had been replaced. Nagisa froze, scared at the implications. Could her physical desires be trying to tell her what she should do? No, it wasn't just that, she clearly had to give her heart to get Tamao to stay to make love to her, and she had gladly given it to her. She wasn't forced.

Now Nagisa was more confused than ever. Stupid sexual frustration thought Nagisa. She couldn't believe that she had let her desires take such a hold over her. Well, one thing was for sure, she had to make her choice quickly. She was afraid that she would just jump either Shizuma or Tamao to release her own frustration: well Shizuma wouldn't mind. In fact, she would probably think it was fun, but Tamao wouldn't be so agreeable no matter how much she wanted it. Nagisa knew that Tamao would never do something like that if she didn't love the person and that person loved her back.

Turning off the TV, Nagisa headed to the door and picked up her bag with her school supplies and headed out. It would take about a forty-five-minute bus ride to reach the Junior College that she was attending. Still confused and frustrated over what happened earlier she started to complain to herself.

'Who the hell puts that stuff in anime? That should be banned." She was furious that she had gone without physical intimacy for so long that an anime with just two girls sharing a kiss could send her so far away. It wasn't just the anime or the lack of attention; it was also the sheer obsession she had to find Tamao. Chikane's efforts and what Nagisa took for confidence bled into her, making her truly believe she would see her friend soon. Then she would be able to tell how sorry she was and talk to both her and Shizuma about that was going on.

Tamao already knew Shizuma, and herself where dating, and she would probably recoil from Nagisa in the first place so Nagisa would have to explain just how her heart and mind were in such turmoil, then hope and pray the blue-haired poet would understand to her. 'Hey Tamao-chan, I know I hurt you, and I know I have a girlfriend that I love, but I also love you and want you. So I thought we could hang out and see just how much we love each other then I can decide between you again. Oh, but I can't promise that I won't leave you disappointed you again."

Nagisa sighed in frustration; it sounded so wrong when reduced to its most basic form. Chuckling to herself Nagisa realized it's terrible no matter how you put it, but she had to come up with something to get the poet to understand that she did indeed love her. Choices like this, however, could affect your entire life so she can't just drop Shizuma, just like she can't just forget about Tamao and move on with Shizuma.

Finally, the bus stopped near the front entrance of the school and Nagisa hurried forward, wanting to get to the classroom a little early to make sure she couldn't be late. A terrible habit she had picked up sometime after Tamao had moved out of there room and was no longer there to wake her up and get her to class on time.

Sliding the door open, she went in and sat down near the back of the room and waited. Not many students were here yet, and most were sitting down in front. About two minutes later a cute short blue-haired girl came skipping through the door. "Nagisa," the girl chirped happily, bounding up to her and taking the seat next to her.

"What happened? I thought you were going to call?" The girl with the ahoge asked, seeming as though she was hurt.

"I am sorry, Konata-san. It has been a hectic last couple of days," Nagisa explained.

"Oh, it's no big deal," replied Konata, switching moods or at least acting as though she did with such speed that Nagisa could safely say she had never met anyone like her.

"Looks like Kagami-san was able to get you here on time today. That's a miracle."

"You've known me for less than two weeks, and you already say such mean things Nagisa. How cruel," Konata playfully pouted.

While it was true that she had known the crazy little woman for a short amount of time, Nagisa had been attracted to her ridiculous behavior and funny jokes. Thus far she was the only one Nagisa had really spent any time associating with.

Their meeting had been a fascinating one. Nagisa had been running late because she had worked the morning shift when a blue blur shot out around a corner and knocked her over.

Lying on the ground, trying to will away the pain in her rump and lower back, she found a pair of big emerald eyes in front of hers.

"Epp," squeaked Nagisa. She quickly sat up, causing her head to spin.

"I'm sorry about that; hopefully it didn't take away to many hit points. Let me help you up," said the strange young woman.

Nagisa just shook her head at the weird way the girl apologized and held out her hand to the girl who took it.

"Damn it Konata, you forgot your books! Get back here!" a loud yell said from down the hall. Nagisa turned her head to see an anger-filled face of a cute girl with pigtails as "Konata" helped her up.

"Look what you did Kagamin, you caused me to knock down this poor NPC." Konata said.

"How is it my fault, and what did I tell you about talking like that?" the other girl nearly screamed out.

Nagisa, not knowing what to make of the two girls, slowly backed away as they began to bicker among themselves and made her way to her class.

Being a couple minutes, late Nagisa just slid her way to the back of the class and pulled out her class book to start listening to the instructor ramble on.

Five minutes later the classroom door flew open with a loud bang, and everyone turned their head to see the new entrant. Nagisa groaned when she laid her eyes on the short girl, rubbing her lower back that suddenly hurt again.

"Miss, I would appreciate it if when you show up late to class, to not make distractions for the rest of my class."

"Sorry about that, I was trying to make up lost experience," Konata said giving the teacher a cat-like smile while rubbing her neck.

"Right, well please take a seat so I can continue with the lecture." With that, the teacher turned back to the front of the class and started where his lecture left off.

After about ten minutes of the teacher drabbing along, Nagisa felt like she was going to fall asleep. 'How could a teacher in college be this boring?' Nagisa thought, trying to keep her mind going as he prattled on.

"Hey." Nagisa turned her head and saw that Konata was speaking to her.

"Hmm?" Nagisa mumbled out a reply, not seeing this as a particular improvement over the sleep-inducing lecture.

"So does the NPC have a name?"

"NPC?"

"Non-playable character. See I am the main character here, so that makes you either a party member or an NPC."

Nagisa couldn't for the life of her understand what the girl was talking about, but Nagisa didn't want to be rude.

"Aoi Nagisa. You?" She asked politely although she had already figured it out.

"Izumi Konata. Nice to meet ya." She proceeded to talk to Nagisa for the rest of, class, neither really taking any notes. Konata turned out to be a lot better than Nagisa's original impression and proceeded to tell her all about some game she had just beaten and about her friend Kagami, who apparently was something called Tsundere. Nagisa continued to be confused, for the most part, not understanding most of what the other girl said, but the way she told it was exciting and fun to listen to.

Over the next four trips to class, Nagisa had gotten a little better at piecing together her eccentric little friend and became more comfortable telling the blue-haired girl about herself. Then Konata revealed that she and Kagami were seeing each other, and they had been since right after their graduation from high school. Kagami, from what Nagisa heard from Konata, was brilliant and more than that she was an earnest student that rarely slacked in her duties to study or do homework.

–

"So what's wrong Nagisa?" Konata asked.

"What makes you think there is something wrong?"

"Hmm, I don't really know. You just don't seem yourself, and I have leveled up my Nagisa trait a couple of times so I can pick up things like that now," Konata explained, once again leaving Nagisa entirely in the dark as to what she meant.

"I just have a lot of things on my mind Konata-san, and I have a meeting with some people who are doing a big favor tomorrow, and I don't know how to thank them," Nagisa told the blue-haired girl who proceeded to nod her head.

"Why don't you do something nice, like bake them something?" Konata suggested.

"Doesn't that seem a little childish? These people are Tokyo U students," Nagisa said, the idea of making something for Chikane and her other guests didn't seem good enough, but she had yet to come up with anything.

"So? Cooking is something delicious and is never a bad thing. Besides, Kagamin is a Tokyo U student, and she loves it when I bake her little surprises," Konata said putting her finger to her chin, trying to figure out who wouldn't like a wonderful meal or freshly baked cake. "Then again she also likes it when I wear nothing but an apron."

"I don't think I need to hear about that Konata-san," said Nagisa, shaking her head. Konata loved to talk about her and Kagami, often taking the conversation in a direction that made Nagisa feel uncomfortable. Not for the first time she wondered how Kagami could deal with someone like Konata.

"You're probably right, but I am serious about making something. As long as it made well then I am sure they would appreciate it," Konata said wearing a big smile. She took pleasure in teasing those around her.

"Well, I am not all that good at cooking. I made some cookies once, but I had a bunch of people helping me," Nagisa told Konata, remembering back to when she made cookies for Shizuma to thank her for helping her with French, only to have her mood go down because she remembered doing nothing for Tamao who had also helped her.

"Hey, why you don't you come over? I am sure Kagamin would like some company. She misses Tsukasa a lot and hasn't seen her since we moved here, and I can help you cook. I was considered an Iron Chef back home among my friends," Konata offered.

"I don't think so. The meeting is tomorrow at five thirty at my job, and I will be busy in the morning so I wouldn't have time. Besides, you have class in the morning remember? I doubt Kagami would want you to skip so you could cook."

"Well, come over tonight after our next class then. You can call your girlfriend and let her know that you will be late getting home. You can have dinner with Kagami and I while we bake you something to give to your friends for helping you out." Nagisa still didn't think it was the best idea, but it was the only thing she had. She decided just to call Shizuma and tell her she would make it up to her this weekend.

"Alright, but I am still going to try and think of something else," Nagisa told Konata but guessing she would not. Her brain had not been conjuring the most efficient things to her lately.

"Awesome, Nagisa. You're upgraded from NPC to Party Member," said Konata excitedly to which Nagisa just nodded her head and smiled. She was grateful to the girl, but she wished she would talk more like an average person.

A/N:

2019 : I honestly can't believe I typed the majority of this chapter, looking back on it and just the state of my mind at the time, well I do hope ya'll can forgive this old gay lady lol.

Chapter Re-upload dedicated to LynnDysis as they left a really kind review and made me at least want to continue posting this as I did make a promise that I would.


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